Life lessons are not necessarily fun, In fact they can be down right hard and painful. I don't really like the process that I go through in learning what I need to learn when a life lesson presents itself to me. But I am trying to say "what can I learn from this." instead of "why me." Life lessons teach us spiritual maturity and I am all for more spiritual maturity. Being a caregiver for Mom has taught me some of these life lessons. I am not proficient in these skills but step by step I am learning.
Patience is a big one. Patience when I deal with the same question over and over again. Patience when I have to give up something I want to do and do something for Mom. Patience when I come home from a stressful day at work and tend to her immediate need to talk. Patience when she has something pressing she is doing and needs my help but doesn't ask for it. Patience when she struggles with the independence she is loosing and she doesn't realize that I am loosing mine too. Patience when she goes through my drawers to organize them or find something. Patience when she isn't feeling well because watching someone you love deal with this disease is painful. Patience when she is trying to remember a word and then waiting for her to find it. Patience with trying to find time for myself. Patience with watching her do something that I know I could do it five times faster..
In reflection - This is like being the mother of a young child again. I see that I am my mother's mother. Funny how life has a way of turning things around on you. Hummmm, is this what Heavenly Father goes through with us? Just when I thought I was so grown up.
What a beautiful reflection of your feelings right now. I'm wondering how teary eyed you were when you wrote it? I'm pretty sure no one has any idea just how much work you do for your mom. But I do know it is hard. There are surely angels on the other side boosting you up, and many ancestors watching that are SO proud of you! Love and prayers, Amy
ReplyDeleteI definitely identify with this, needing patience for almost every moment of the day. I'm surprised how much our lives are similar, me with my little kids and you with Grandma. Only you're also working a "real" job on top of being a caregiver. I hope you do find time for yourself in all this. I'm always praying for you to have peace and guidance. Love you!
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