Unfinished Business

I have found that in the past that when a parent comes to visit you slip into old patterns of behavior.  What I mean by this is that I still feel the same roles exist - parent/child relationship.  How ever that relationship was in the past seems to rear its head again.  I use to hate the teasing that went on when I would go home for a visit.  I didn't like it as a child and I didn't like it when my family would slip back into it when I visited as an adult.  Now with mom living with me those patterns still exist.  Not that she teases me but the relationship habits still are present and I am reacting to them as I did as a child.  I don't like that in myself.  I worked hard to get rid of some of the old patterns in my family relationship that I felt were destructive.  Now I find that I haven't finished that business with my mother.  How do I begin?  These patterns are so ingrained.  I hope that I can find the path to forgiveness and boundary setting needed to start a new pattern with my mom and my siblings.