January came and gone.

It has been a long time since I updated this blog.  I am on vacation this week and one of my goals was to catch up on the last month with mom.

We had a good Christmas although mom did have a slight melt-down on Christmas Eve.  I believe it was the result of missing all her children, different surroundings, and lack of her own control to make things happen as she saw them in her mind.  She cried, I believe, because of the unrealistic expectation of having all her children with her as we were little.  She expressed that she "wanted it to be" as it used to be when she was a young mother - all of us around her knees.  She was melancholy and depressed.  I can understand since sometimes I wish that today as well BUT I wouldn't want to give up having my in-law children and grandchildren around my knees (some of the grandchildren are almost as tall as me now),

Mom has realized over the past month that she will not be returning home to live on her own.  December 28th Mom went to the Barrow Neurological Institute to see if there were options to her treatment. She was hoping to receive help with adjusting her medications so that she could be made more comfortable.  The movement in her head and body have become more obvious and bothersome.  She swings her head back and forth and sometimes she is almost jumping instead of walking.  It is a strange phenomenon that occurs.  We talked with Dr. Lieberman who related that she is doing pretty well considering that she has had Parkinson's for eight to ten years. He made little changes in her medication.

The doctor indicated that Mom could no longer live alone.  It is a risk to her safety, he said.  He explained that if she were to fall and break her hip that we, meaning the whole family, would feel bad and regret that we weren't there to prevent it from happening.  He went on to say that she may fall anyway but that if it happened in our own home we would feel better about the fact that we had taken all the precautions and would be able to respond quicker.  Mom said she had come to the same conclusion just a week previous.

The doctor tested Mom's memory and related that she could undergo other memory tests that would be more conclusive.  It was his opinion, that the results of his office test would be the same as a more rigorous test that could take three hours to complete.  His conclusion is that Mom has Parkinson's Disease Dementia (PDD),   For example, she knew the president's name but not what day it was. She also had a hard time making sense of metaphors.   The doctor ordered a couple of tests to be done and asked her to come back in a couple of months.  Our next appointment is February 7th.

When the family was made aware that the doctor recommended that Mom not live alone there was mixed feelings.  Some of the family felt that she should be able to live alone as long as she felt she could.  My thought is that when someone is unable to make decisions related to their personal safety such as - taking their medications at appropriate times and knowing difference between long-acting pill and short-acting pills; being able to make sense of time; and other things related to her judgement abilities - it is time to have her/him live with someone.  At times, the result of her trying to make decisions about daily living only confuses her more and creates anxiety which then escalates her frustration.   She currently can not take her medications without someone physically handing them to her, on most days.  She fell again yesterday and luckily it didn't result in any bruises or fractures.  Her physical limitations of weakness and uncontrolled movement can result in balance problems which is also a reason she can not live alone.

A couple of relatives felt that Mom could live in her home with someone who would rent the room in her basement. They thought that maybe that person would be willing to provide a level of care for Mom that would be in exchange of their rent.  I say absolutely not.  First of all, where are you going to find a saint that would take this on and not resent the situation after a couple of weeks.  Secondly, the person may have motives that could result in manipulation and exploitation.  This and many other thoughts come to my mind that do not make this a possibility.

Mom says that she doesn't want to live alone any more.  She is more comfortable with family being available to talk to and to help her reason out what she is thinking. It takes a lot of patience to help her through these times.  She can get angry and sometimes throws a temper-tantrum.  She usually recognizes that she is out of control and quickly apologizes.

Well, that is it for now.  I hope to update more later in the week.  Much more to share.